Stuck in a Moment

I thought I was having a bad day yesterday. I’ve been working my tail off without respite or reward. Yesterday afternoon I went into a mediation session that was nothing more than legalized extortion. My client had been sued, but he truly was not at fault. The plaintiff had legitimate problems with his air conditioning system at his office, but my client was the architect not the engineer who designed the bad plans. The problem? It was cheaper for my client to settle the lawsuit than pay me to fight it – and no one can guarantee success.

He made the proper decision, from a certain point of view. What did he gain? Certainty as to how much he’d pay to get out of the lawsuit. It was the sounder economic decision. It was a good pragmatic decision. Now he does not have to live with the lawsuit for the next 18 months.

Still, it stuck in my craw and I was not proud to be a part of the process. Having a self-regulating bar is kind of like having a Senate Ethics Committee. Just one example of the macrocosm of my world right now.

So, I get home about 7:00 in order to hustle over to my 7:50 soccer game. I had to get over to my Washed-Up World Cup of the Northwest Valley. While getting dressed, I turned on my Virtual DJ (the Bose Lifestyle 48 – so sweet) in my bedroom. On comes an interesting song.

Here is the chorus:

“You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it.

Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it”

Here is the last line:

“It’s just a moment,
This time will pass”

U2
“Stuck In a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of”
All That You Can’t Leave Behind

So, I figure, that seems appropriate. I’ll go to my soccer game and see what happens. I’m the “back up” goaltender on our team, but our first-stringers keep going down to injury. Anyway …

We got walloped. We were down 9 to 1 in the first half. At halftime, I told the team that the other side was better, but not 9 to 1 better. We tied the second half 2 to 2. Minor moral victory, I suppose.

I got a call this morning from another client. His dad had moved in with him about 3 years ago. His dad suffered a spinal cord injury in 1986 and was confined to a wheelchair. His dad moved in with him to help with the family business in about 2003. When he moved in, a contractor was hired to make the house handicapped accessible. In 2004, there was an accident on the ramp. It was our position that the negligent construction of the ramp was the cause of the accident and that the accident caused a severe neurological disorder in the dad’s right shoulder. The poor guy only had two limbs, and then one was taken away.

Last night, the dad died.

The dad didn’t let his situation get the better of him. In the 1990s he was a deep sea fisherman in Hawaii and Florida. When he wasn’t fishing off a boat, he would run up and down the pier with two dozen fishing lines in the water. He’d camp out in his van and fish.

Word is that he was also a pool shark. I suppose he could have been very un-assuming.

When he moved in to help his son run the business, they would go out to rivers and lakes to fish and swim. They’d take the son’s off-road vehicles off the beaten path. Once there, the son would carry his dad into position and the old man would float on the water, play in the sand, and throw out his fishing line. When the son went hunting with his friends, the old man would plink cans his gun.

When he wasn’t out enjoying himself, the old man would work in the motor yard in the family business. He would remove and replace the brakes on the vehicles, change the oil, and make sure the vehicles kept running. He’d go out on jobs and lend his advice to the workers.

When I talked to the son today, he told me, “My dad hasn’t died yet, so I figured he’d never die.” I have to admit, I had the same feelings about the old man. He was an interesting character, and I enjoyed knowing him.

If I remember correctly, that song was written upon the death of Bono’s father. It seems to fit a lot of situations in many ways.

You’re given a finite amount of moments to live. It’s part of life, and life is a good thing. Don’t look to the future and day-dream about what may never happen. When you’re in one of those finite moments – good or bad – that’s simply where you are. Your life is defined is through these discrete moments and what you do in them and not much else. Good or bad, that moment will pass. Then you will receive another moment. It doesn’t do much good to dwell on it or look past it. There’s nothing you can do, and you don’t want to miss out on life.