Brilliant!!

I am brilliant.

The missus likes to go to basketball games. Mind you, she doesn't like to watch the game. She likes being out, walking amongst the throngs, watching the non-basketball entertainment ... but not the basketball. We're pretty stereotypical this way. She asks all the "wrong" questions and continually yaps through the game. Then, when she sees my brother(s) and I talking during the games on TV, she gets mad because we're "talking." She doesn't understand the rules of talking while watching a sporting event. Rules such as:

1. Making fun of anyone, anytime, about anything is always allowed.

2. A quick paraphrase from some reporter (or, these days, blogger) who is "in the know" is acceptable so long as it relates to the game or the sport.

3. To paraphrase, "Brevity is ... wit." Quick quips are the key.

4. Random observations, witty or not, are generally well-received.

The most important part of the etiquette is that un-spoken and un-written rule of just "knowing" when to shut up. Most guys have an innate and indescribable understanding of the rule.

In any event, we almost always get into an argument because she wants to talk but doesn't understand the rules of conversation at a sporting event.

So, I'm looking at my wasted preseason tickets for Saturday night. Yes, "wasted" is the right word. I've got to pay full price for those lousy tickets just to get the 41 other tickets? It's robbery but I let it happen.

Being a "win-win" sort of guy, I took two negatives and made a positive: Take the wife to the preseason game.

She gets to go out and babble on and I'm not watching a game in which I'm paticularly interested. She can talk and because I don't care about the outcome of the game, I won't bitch at her for not following the rules. Everyone wins! Who knows? I might even have a two-hour conversation with my wife!

Brilliant!!